Maybe it was never about the thought of me still being in love with you. It was just the illusion that I perceived that you’d come back to me one day and realise what you had lost. I don’t want you back in my life. Because I’m tired of the million thoughts that go on in my mind because of you.
The feeling that dries out my throat and feels like someone punched me hard in my ribs. I know I should have been done with you a long time ago. But as they say. Better late than never. I don’t hate you. I really don’t. But I’m not going to be forgiving for the pain that you’ve caused me, knowingly and unknowingly. I thought staying with you was the only way I could ease my pain. But I was wrong. Letting you go is the only way I’ll be able to ease my pain.
I don’t regret you, but sometimes I wish I had walked way at the the start and left things at hello.
My heart will fix itself. It’s my mind that I’m worried about. My mind which has locked the countless memories that we’ve had. Your pain became a drug I craved for everyday not realising that it was killing me slowly. I craved the pain because it made me feel high. But every bad habit has an end to it. And today is the end for you.
I have realised that I’m more stronger than I give myself credit for. The biggest mistake I made was I lost myself in the process of valuing you too much. I’m going to erase the illusion I built of you. I thought you’d come back. But you didn’t. You thought I’d never leave. But I did.